Summertime is starting to kick us in the you-know-where. At least in terms of sleep, that is. We do stick to a fairly strict bedtime year-round, but with the kids able to sleep in later in the mornings right now, it’s a little more difficult to get them to sleep on time at night.

I said ‘kids’ – but what I really meant was ‘Abby’. Over the past couple of weeks it’s become common for her to make several after-bedtime appearances in the living room for one of any number of reasons (see here for a good description).

What’s new lately though, is the underlying fear and anxiety that’s become enmeshed in these visits. Abby’s never been a kid to fall asleep right away at night – but it’s only been in the past year that fear has become a part of it. And lately she’s gone from being afraid of storms, to being afraid of the dark (even with a nightlight) – and a few times being just plain scared of being alone in her room. Those are the nights where she simply cries and cries because she wants her Daddy – but he’s trying to get sleep so he can get up at 5:30am and doesn’t have the patience to deal with her in the middle of the night.

This weekend was so much harder than usual – mainly because of all the people in our neighborhood who seem to feel the need to light off firecrackers and fireworks until all hours of the night. Starting a few days before the 4th, and continuing for what sometimes has been a week afterward.

Or until they run out of things to shoot off, I’d guess.

The night of the 4th we had what was basically a full-blown fireworks show outside our front window – after we got home from the actual fireworks show put on by the community. I literally sat on the couch and watched them for about an hour. Strangely enough – it was almost even a better show than what we’d been to earlier.

This is strange – because any fireworks that leave the ground to explode are illegal in Michigan without a proper permit. And I can just about guarantee that nobody in our neighborhood was issued a fireworks permit. Illegal fireworks are common  – we’re only a couple of hours from the border to Indiana, where fireworks are legal. And plentiful.

Abby however, was not at all impressed with the assorted booms, bangs and pops that filled the night sky. She isn’t afraid of fireworks per se (believe me – she’d been screaming with excitement earlier in the evening loudly enough). But the loud noises scare her when she’s in bed and not expecting (or watching) them. It’s linked to her fear of storms, I think. And it’s completely irrational, so there’s no way to use logic to calm her down. Believe me – we’ve tried.

All of this led to Ron and I having an 8-year-old in our bed for the past 2 nights. Her room was occupied – by Mary and her kids, so Abby was supposed to sleep in Hannah and Becca’s room. But Abby’s crying and fear was keeping her sisters awake so in the interest of everyone getting a good night’s sleep – we gave in.

Tonight was supposed to be Abby’s return to her own room and bed. And we put her there like usual, with no complications.

Until the neighborhood sound show started again – firecrackers and who knows what all else. Abby had the predictable freak-out and Ron spent some time in her room talking to her before he headed down to bed.

That’s when the, “I want to see my Daddy!” began.

Now while I am completely willing to help her through her fears, this particular demand isn’t specifically fear-based. I’m not sure at all exactly where it’s coming from, but it’s grown old very quickly. So I told her very calmly and firmly that Daddy was asleep and she could not go down and wake him up. He’s worked the past 7 days in a row and has to be up at 5:30am again tomorrow morning.

So began a battle of wills. I was very clear as to my expectations – that she would go back to bed. She was just as clear with hers – that she would not go back to bed until she’d seen Daddy.

Rather than argue, fight or otherwise give her attention resulting from this behavior, I simply ignored her. She moved further into the living room and kept up the wailing.

Ignore…  Ignore…

Every so often she’d try to throw in a question she thought I would answer. I didn’t. I simply kept working on the laptop here on the couch.

She sat down on the couch and began trying to start a conversation with me.

Nope, not going there. Go back to bed.

“I’m not going to sleep until I see my Daddy!”.

“Guess you’ll be waiting a long time then. Good night.”

So where did the battle end?  Well, here’s the view to my right at this particular moment…

I’m not exactly sure if this is a victory for her or me – or neither. She is asleep, without waking up Ron. But not in her bed, or even in her room.

I think I’ll have to call it a draw – at least for now. The next battle will come when I put down the laptop as soon as this post is done and attempt to put her to bed before I head downstairs to my own bed.

I hate bedtime being a battle. And I know at least part of this is due to her sleep schedule being completely messed up between summer vacation, houseguests, and first staying up for the (real) fireworks last night then being kept up even later by all of the neighborhood ones. It should help that we’ll be getting up early (ish) this week so she won’t be able to sleep in like she has for the past several days. I foresee a challenging week of tired, grumpy family members while we all get back to a somewhat normal sleep pattern.

At least I hope it’ll get back to something like normal. At some point before school begins again. 

‘Night!