I tend to be a ‘grass is greener’ kind of a person.
By that, I mean that back when I was a single professional, I would go out and wistfully watch the families with their kids running around, and wish that I had someone too. That I wasn’t alone.
Ten years later, I sometimes think that having a few minutes without kids running around would be kind of nice. Not that I regret having my family – but I do wish I’d enjoyed single life a bit more back then while I could.
As a full-time working mom, I would enviously watch the other moms at preschool drop-off and pick-up who weren’t always rushing from one commitment to another. I so wanted to be able to spend more quality time with my kids, and dreamed of all the things that we could do together if I didn’t have to work so much.
Now that I am unemployed, I find myself worrying over how to make ends meet, and trying to keep the unending clutter that is my house under control.
I realize that I never seem to be able to let myself ‘just be happy’ with what I have. And I wonder why that is. I suppose it’s so easy to get caught up in the ‘what if’ and to not think about the ‘what is’ instead.
Six months after being laid off from my job, I realize that while I’ve done a few things that I’d wanted to, there are so many opportunities out there that we’re not taking advantage of. And this chance likely won’t last more than a few months longer at most.
So this time, I am choosing to let myself be happy. With what I have, who I am, where my life has taken me…
And with whatever is yet to come.